2P Hetalia Stereotypes song
by Yume Disney
Summary: The first players of Hetalia have heard and reacted their own ways to the "Stereotypes Song", some handling it better than others. So when America sends the song to their second players, without the other countries consent, how will their other selves take it? Rated T for the language not only from the song, but, well... this is a 2P story


The meeting room for the countries was loud and full of arguments as usual. Knives, arrows, and other weapons were flying across the room as curses were thrown at each other. Italy had had enough of it as he massaged his forehead from an on coming head ache. Japan had been sending death threats to China as China did childish antics at him. Germany was being no help as he just continued to sleep with his head on the table and cat on his head and Italy's brother, Romano, was acting like an idiot as usual. A growl came from the Italian's lips as he threw one of his many knives at the closest country, which happened to be America.

America senses the knife coming and quickly uses his bat to make the sharp object stick to it. "Alright! Who was the idiot that threw that?" Another knife flies by and catches America's sunglasses that were sitting at the top of his head and lands on the wall behind him.

"Watch what you say to your elders, America." Italy says as he holds another knife in his hand while smirking sinisterly.

"I'm still the superpower though, _Veneziano_. So unless you don't want me coming to your place and start beating the crap out of you, I suggest you shut the hell up." America threatens as he pulls his sunglasses off the knife and places them back on his head.

Italy growls again at his other name being said and is about to get up to show the American whose boss until Prussia puts a hand on his shoulder and attempts to sit him back down. "Italy, he is just trying to provoke you. Didn't you call this meeting for something important?"

"I wouldn't call it 'important' since it was the American idiot's other self that sent us an email saying we needed to hear something", Italy says as he continues glaring at America who started to flip him off with a smirk on his tan face.

Italy growls one more time as Romano hops up to his little brother and begins poking him. "Fratello, can we hear what our other selves wanted us to hear?" Italy takes the knife and shoves it in Romano's forehead as the blonde Italian falls to the ground unconscious.

"Fine. Everyone shut up!" Everyone turns their attention to the fuming Italian as a sweet smile only his duplicate could pull off stretches across his face, "Now, ve~. If no one wants to get killed you will all stay quiet, si?" A mumble of threats are heard from the countries, but all reluctantly nod. "Good! Lets see what our double gangers wanted us to hear." Italy pulls the laptop in front of him closer as he opens up the email the blonde America had sent and opened up the music file.

You know, I always thought stereotypes were kinda

ridiculous.

So I wrote a song about it,

and it goes a little something like this.

I think I love you more than the

Japanese love tentacle porn,

And we should dance dance dance d-d-dance to these

stereotypes.

Some of the countries start snickering as others wolf whistle at Japan. A smirk plays on the Japanese man's lips as he shrugs his shoulders, "I do not deny that."

Let's come together and live in this world like a

unibrow on an Indian girl,

And we should dance dance dance d-d-dance to these

stereotypes.

Check it out now.

I love those fat Americans.

You know they so obnoxious.

They always eating burgers.

They always holding shotguns.

More laughter comes from the nations as an irk mark appears over America's forehead. "I'm a vegetarian and prefer my bat. Everything mentioned sounds like the idiot hero."

"The fat and obnoxious part sounded about right", Canada says as a smirk crosses his lips. America growls at his brother as he lifts his bat to the Canadian.

"You wanna go, tree hugger?"

"Bring it, fatass." The two get up to fight each other as England comes between the two.

"No fighting or I'll stuff my cupcakes down your throat with my knives." The two reluctantly sit back down as they continue glaring at each other. England straightens his bow tie as he walks back to his seat.

And I love Mexicans.

The way they mow my lawn.

They all got a 100 kids 'cause they don't know how to put a

condom on.

Uh huh.

'Cause that's the way they roll.

Ya gotta go big like an Israeli nose.

If you ever buy a pint for an Irish guy,

And they're out of control like a Chinese driver.

China pouts as he turns to Russia. "I'm not that bad of a driver, aru." Russia just grunts as he shrugs the smaller man off.

"YOU ALMOST RAN ME OVER WITH YOUR CAR!" Japan exclaims as he pounds his hands on the table.

"But that was on purpose", China whines as a smirk crosses his face. It drops again when he remembers what was said. "I don't really drive crazily, aru."

I love the Middle East, but how do they handle

Rockin' burkas while they're riding camels.

I love Jamaicans. Yeah, they cool,

but they're always high, so don't let them fool ya.

Ya mon.

And I love them Puerto Ricans,

Even though they wash their ass about once a week and,

I'm just joking.

If you didn't know then

You're a little slow and you're probably from Poland.

Each country that was mentioned nagged or agreed to what the song said as the others just laughed. Lithuania seemed mad as he poked Poland's shoulder. "Don't you feel the least bit offended?"

Poland emotionlessly looked at his friend, "No. That just sounds like my other self. If I'm not angry you shouldn't be either."

Lithuania huffs as he turns back, "You really need to grow a backbone." The song picks up again and mostly everyone pitches in to sing the chorus.

I think I love you more than the

Japanese love tentacle porn,

And we should dance dance dance d-d-dance to these

stereotypes.

Let's come together and live in this world like a

unibrow on an Indian girl,

And we should dance dance dance d-d-dance to these

stereotypes.

Aw yeah! Let me hear you yell

If you love the Outback

redneck Australians,

Australia snaps the stick he has in his hand.

And the crooked ass teeth of an English dude,

And those creepy Italians who think they're smooth.

Mamma mia!

England and Italy both throw knives near the computer as steam exits their heads. Romano had reawakened from unconsciousness as he takes the knife from earlier out of his forehead. "We aren't that creepy, right fratello?" Italy just growls as he plunges another knife into his brother, but this time in the chest. Romano falls again.

And how could anyone hate the French.

Yeah, I know their hairy women don't shave their pits.

France removes the cigarette from his mouth as smoke exits through his lips. "It is a major turn off when we are-cough- doing the deed, as you say."

Brazilian girls is what you want,

Walking around town with that ba-dunk-a-dunk.

All the countries wolf whistle as America and Canada high five. "I know where we're going!"

"Brazilian babes beware~"

"Boys!" England exclaims as he continues trying getting over the stereotype said about him.

I love Africans, but hold up a second.

National Geographic says they're all butt-naked.

Breasts hanging low. What have they done with their clothes?

They've disappeared like coke up a Colombians nose.

"If that's true, maybe we could bag some African chicks as well", Canada says with a smirk on his lips. England comes up and hits the back of his head.

Uh oh! You're all on my checklist,

Even Russian guys who drink Vodka for breakfast.

Russia growls louder as China pats him on the back while still laughing his butt off.

They're stereotypes, and if you believe them,

Then your brain is small like a Korean's penis.

All the nations burst out into laughter again as South Korea shrinks in his seat with a sad pout on his lips.

I think I love you more than the

Japanese love tentacle porn,

And we should dance dance dance d-d-dance to these

stereotypes.

Let's come together and live in this world like a

unibrow on an Indian girl,

And we should dance dance dance d-d-dance to these

stereotypes.

All together now!

I love Scotsmen, though they hump sheep.

(repeat 4x)

They hump sheep (repeat 3x)

Scotland also had a huge pout cross his lips as the different countries around him made humping motions toward him. Some even going far enough to act like the sheep being humped.

"I always thought that was WALES", England says through a fit of giggles.

"B-but... We don't", Scotland says as he looks down timidly.

He goes unnoticed as everyone begins singing the rest of the song.

I think I love you more than the

Japanese love tentacle porn,

And we should dance dance dance d-d-dance to these

stereotypes.

Let's come together and live in this world like a

unibrow on an Indian girl,

And we should dance dance dance dance dance to these

stereotypes.

Yeah. I'm just playing, you know I love you guys.

But seriously, don't hump any sheep.

All the countries that weren't badly offended or offended at all continued laughing on the floor and insulting each other as the song ended.

"Ha! Didn't even MENTION a stereotype about Canadians", Canada says proudly as he points a mocking finger to his brother.

America growls as he swipes the offending hand away, "Probably didn't mention one cause you're other self is ALWAYS FORGOTTEN!"

Canada just smirks at the response as he brings his sunglasses down over his eyes, "Better than being known as a fat, obnoxious, burger-eating, gun-slinging American."

"Now, now. Calm down", Italy exclaims as he shuts the laptop, "Though the song was very funny~"

"MORE LIKE FUCKING RACIST", Australia says as some of the more offended countries agree with him.

"But they were all just stereotypes", Prussia tries reasoning, "Isn't that what the name is called? The Stereotype Song?"

"I say we kill the other America", Russia says as he pulls out his pipe

"Isn't that a bit harsh, poppet", England asks.

"I wouldn't mind doing it, if just for fun", Japan says with a smirk. England smirks as well as other countries begin agreeing.

"Even though the song was really offensive, we shouldn't just kill the other America, daze", South Korea says with a worried expression. They all begin fighting as Italy looks completely unamused.

Germany finally bangs his fist against the table as he glares at all the countries, "SHUT UP! IF YOU WANT TO GO AFTER AMERICA, SAY AYE!"

"Aye", at least forty percent of the room agree as they glare at the few who don't.

Italy smirks now as he brings a knife up to his lips, "Ve~ If you want to kill the other America just for the hell of it, say aye."

"AYE!" Mostly all the room exclaims as weapons are being prepared to go face their counterparts.

"Then we are in agreement. Let us go", Japan says as the Axis stand up and lead the countries who want a battle out of the room.

As the last of the countries leave, Prussia goes to Romano's chest and takes the knife out of the Italian's side. "Are you okay, Romano", Prussia asks as Romano's eyes begin to flutter open.

"W-what" Romano asks, "Where is everyone? My brother left me here again, si?"

"Nein", Prussia says as the two stand up, "They just left to fight with our double gangers."

"Mi dispiace for crashing your meeting, but we didn't like the song you sent to us, ve", Italy says from down the hall as the sound of guns, bangs, and complete chaos follows.

"AMERICA, YOU BLOODY IDIOT!" The other England screams.

"I couldn't help myself, dude!" The other America shouts back as his famous laugh is also heard, only to be cut short with a painful sounding grunt.

Romano's eyes widen as he places his sunglasses on the top of his head, "They started bugging our other selves without me?!" He quickly runs out of the room with guns in his hands and goes down the hallway to where the others' meeting room was. "WAIT FOR ME!"

Prussia only sighs as he takes a seat in his brother's chair, "As my other self would say, 'So unawesome'."


End file.
